CULT review (Midsumma Festival)

Alex is a gay man in his 20s, so naturally he is obsessed with his body and his appearance. In a new Australian work by Ryan Henry, and presented as part of Midsumma Festival, CULT looks at the levels we will go to for the ultimate body and what the true cost of achieving this perfection is.

Henry delivers a highly committed performance full of energy, which is essential given the physical exertion required in the exercise routines. He races through dialogue matching the fast-paced environment of HIIT training centres and at times he thrashes out his speed of speech that would make Hollywood actor Jessie Eisenberg seem like a tortoise. The way he moves his body during the transitions from confessionals to rewinding to the past and returning to the present and his personal training sessions with his trainer Jason, heightens the urgency and the desperation Alex has in reaching peak physical fitness.

Jackson Peele is bringing the fear of beep tests back with his new musical theatre play, The Beep Test

The beep test is a fitness test where people run back and forth between two points. A programmed beeping noise determines the running speed that must be maintained which increases and decreases as the test continues. But in the case of the Melbourne Fringe Festival, The Beep Test is a musical theatre comedy piece presented by upcoming writing duo Jackson Peele and Conor Neylon. The musical follows four highly competitive Year 7 students as they compete to win top place in the beep test, whatever the cost may be.

While The Beep Test had positive responses at its Perth Fringe season, Peele was not initially convinced of its potential when approached by Neylon. "The concept was Conor’s idea and to be honest, I really wasn’t sold at first. We’d been (and still are) trying to write the great Australian musical! I kid, I hate pretentious shit," Peele laughs. "But it genuinely was Conor’s idea and I did take a hot second to come around."

Bliss! review - Melbourne International Comedy Festival

Everyone wants a hot beach body for summer. For some it's an unattainable dream and for others, it's their sole purpose for living. In Bliss! Isabel Angus takes a number of swipes at an industry that has people feeling more insecure about themselves, through her fitspo and fitspirational character, Penny Parsins. 

Angus touches on a number of issues that are raised by the fitness obsessed times we live in. Having recently watched another fitness themed show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival but from a male perspective, it was interesting to see the similarities and difference that females encounter when it comes to fitness, most notably that men exercise to put on muscle and women, such as Penny, exercise to lose weight because as we all know, strong is the new skinny.

BLISS! - Melbourne International Comedy Festival preview

These days, you can't ask someone how their weekend was without learning about the new fitness class they discovered. A new, obscure class that involves beating yourself to a pulp, but all worth it for that perfect summer body. Presenting her show BLISS! as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, Isabel Angus looks deeper into this cultural phenomenon where merely riding exercise bikes or lifting weights are no longer acceptable while also exploring what the "ideal" actually is in terms of able-bodied youth, beauty, whiteness, wealth and heteronormativity.

"BLISS! is a satirical character comedy, exploring the absurdity of extreme fitness and wellness culture," Angus tells me. "Prepare to be ‘fit-spired’ by twenty-something Penny Parsins, a #fitspo fanatic wellness guru who’s body is a temple and truly believes yours can be too. Except to see inspirational workouts performed by Penny and prepare to feel like a toxic bag of flesh who needs a Fit-tervention from Penny. As a self-appointed life guru, she has got what it takes to show you how you can live your #BestLife. And don’t forget to follow her on Instagram while you’re at it to get a glimpse into Penny's perfect life."

Why I go to the Gym

There's an article doing the rounds at the moment by pianist James Rhodes called "Find what you love and let it kill you". You can find the article here. In it Rhodes discusses how his love for playing the piano has enveloped his life and how it is the greatest thing in his life, which is great, but then he makes the following statement:

"What if, rather than paying £70 a month for a gym membership that delights in making you feel fat, guilty and a world away from the man your wife married you bought a few blank canvases and some paints and spent time each day painting your version of "I love you" until you realised that any woman worth keeping would jump you then and there just for that, despite your lack of a six-pack?"

I fell this is an unfair statement to make. Clearly Rhodes is not a fan of the gym and it sounds like he's never been inside a gym. I am only making this assumption because it is what I used to think of about the gym before I started going.

I began going to the gym as part of a 30 Day Challenge. Until that time I had NEVER set foot in a gym and the most active thing I had done of late was performing on stage with an improvised comedy group. However, I was "lucky" to be "blessed" with the ability to eat anything and not put on weight. So at 6'3" and weighing only 71kg, I never looked at fitness as my thing.


Initially, I felt a little inferior to the people going at my gym. This skinny tall guy who could barely bench press 20kg. But the more I persevered at it, the better I got. The gym actually became a place of positivity and well being for me. And it was one of the few places, at the moment where I am able to switch off everything else that is going on in my life and just focus on the present.

During my first few visits, I was self conscious but I noticed that no one even looks at you at the gym - or my gym anyway. Everyone is so focused on themselves to care about or judge you. Perfect example was when I was doing some bench presses and I had exerted myself so much that I couldn't push the bar back up on the hooks. I was stuck there with 30 kg resting on my chest. No one helped. Because no one was watching me. I eventually managed to lift if up and hide my sheer embarrassment.

Before I went to the gym, I had severe issues about my body - and to an extent, I still do and probably always will. But the progress I have made at the gym (I have already gained 2kg and now have a bicep!!!) has provided me with more confidence than I have had in my entire life. I am not going to the gym for anyone but myself.

I find the gym an inspirational place as I see men (and women) with great physiques that I aspire to have. My current goal is to gain 10kg of muscle. I go to the gym 6 days a week and have a weekly Personal Training session. My PT is supportive and listens to my needs and pushes me that extra bit. So I take offence to Rhodes' remark about how the gym makes you feel fat and guilty and implying that people only go for superficial reasons.

I have been going to the gym for ten weeks now and I am feeling great. If I become aesthetically more appealing to others in the process, then it's a win/win situation. Whilst I agree with Rhodes' sentiments I feel that his above statement is an insult to people who enjoy going to the gym, as if their passion is not as valid because it is not artistic like playing the piano or painting yet it requires just as much discipline and passion.

So find what you love and let it kill you - whatever it may be.

30 Days of Fitness: Day 30 - And so it is

The last day!

Thought I would take it easy today and do a yoga session in the morning. I haven't been warming down properly the last few sessions and I am starting to feel it in my muscles and joints a bit. The stiffness and just being a bit sore for too long. It's just once I finish a workout, the last thing on my mind is warming down. I just wanna go home and relax. I guess I need to start seeing the warm down as PART of the workout and not something separate. I manage to do about 15 minutes of cardio before each workout though - 5 minutes treadmill, 5 minutes rowing and 4 minutes with the medicine ball. So doing the yoga was a great thing. Really stretched out all those muscles and tightness. Felt great afterwards.

So got through 30 Days of Fitness! Yay me! haha...certainly given me a different outlook on health and fitness but I will write up one final blog about my thoughts on the last 30 days tomorrow.

30 Days of Fitness: Day 29 - The final countdown...

The penultimate day!!!! Wazoo....not that I'm gonna stop going but the "pressure" to go and having to update the blog was getting too much. Looking forward to a rest day!

So worked on my chest and biceps today. I was already having anxiety about that damn bench press. Was almost relieved when there were people constantly crowding around it but eventually it opened up for lil' me. Decides to just use the 2.5kg weights so I was only lifting 25kg. STILL struggled with that. Managed to get through the first two sets but the third I swallowed my pride and took them off and just did the 20kg bar. The fact that the Glee soundtrack came on to my shuffle whilst I was doing that did nothing more to emasculate me at all. No. Not at all.

Despite the spelling, this is probably how I feel

The funny thing is, during a break between reps this guy asked me if I was using the green weights. They're each 10kg. I laughed and shook my head. No reaction from him, either he genuinely thought I could lift that or he's not the sharpest crayon in the box.

The rest of the exercises were pretty standard. Forgot how to do the cable bicep curl so I did something that I think involved my biceps - but then again, I just found out where my triceps are the other day.

I feel like my endurance is there and I can continue doing the exercises, but it's just the weight that gets too much sometimes. And there are days when I can do the exercises quite easily and then there are days when the same exercise kills me. I don't know why.

One day to go tomorrow...what a physically and mentally draining challenge it has been! But a good one me thinks!

30 Days of Fitness: Day 28 - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

Was a back and triceps today, and now that I know where a tricep is, I could feel it working its little ass off. It really surprises me how weak I actually am, I always assumed I was quite strong for a skinny person but guess I was wrong. And it's clear my left hand is more dominant than my right because there are certain exercises I can do on the left side without a problem yet on the right, i wobble and struggle a bit.

For a warm up, I had a 5 minute run on the treadmill, 5 minutes on the rowing machine and then a few minutes of wall slams with a 4kg medicine ball. I think I realised the importance of a warm up today, as I have been skipping them in the last week and noticed the difference with my movement right away.

I had some difficulty remembering a few of the exercises so I just improvised them today. Was on the TRX for a bit, did the rowing set Nathan and I had discussed; low, medium and high. Then I had a TRX Tricep press and I remembered something about thumbs touching so I just did that. Turns out I was close but was doing for of a chest press then this:

I found the dumbbell pulls and the tricep press up pretty good. The weight (12kg and 9kg) was just right for me. The assisted chin ups were a struggle. I don't know if it's because the order we did them in last time, but I struggled to get through the first set with 66kg. Second set was 72kg and third was 77kg. So I was a little disappointed with that one. Will start on 72kg next time and try and get through all three on that one.

What I should have been doing

Standing Row and Incline Pull were pretty good too. The tricep press I was really confused about and I ended up doing any sort of movement that I could feel the triceps moving. Maybe not the best idea but I thought anything would be better than just skipping it. A quick google search - when I got home - showed that I was close. Instead of pulling down keeping my arms in an L formation, I was pulling up to an L formation. I may have to take instructions with me next time.

My arms felt like jelly afterwards but I can feel my back getting stronger already. My posture has improved and when doing exercises I feel like I have good support from my back. I do enjoy the pain afterwards because it means my body is working on getting better and stronger.

30 Days of Fitness: Day 27 - Oh, so that's a tricep!

So I didn't go to the gym today. Apart from a time thing, I just didn't have the strength to get into a workout again. So once I got home from an evening out at 10pm, I did an hour of yoga and oh my god did my body love me for it. I can't believe how tense and tight my body was. Stretching out my arms and back was like bliss. And don't even get my started on Child Pose.

During the evening when I was out with a friend, she also commented that I looked healthier and more relaxed and stuff. I do feel more energised although this is counteracted with my lack of sleep of late, sometimes only getting 5 hours sleep. But I look forward to this challenge being over - in three days - so that I don't have to do something every day and then blog about it. It's really time consuming to blog every day, especially when I could be using that time to sleep! But I'm glad I did this challenge, it's given me an appreciation for what my body is capable of and how I should be treating it. Along with my new found vegetarianism I think 2013 will be my year of health!

Oh, and I also found out today where my triceps are. Go me!

So much clearer now!

30 Days of Fitness: Day 26 - On my own

Went back to the gym today to work on my chest and biceps. Not meeting Nathan again till next week to do legs and shoulders - which I am a little worried about as everyone I have spoken to has told me how much they hate leg workouts. I feel like my legs are pretty good though, I do well with all the squatting and rowing excercises I do.

So below is my chest and biceps workout:

Bench press 3x10 with 30kg
Cable Chest Flys 3x12 with 10kg
Torso Twists 3x (10x2) with 15kg
Cable Bicep Curls 3x20 with 10kg
Push-ups 3x10
Dumb-bell Chest Press 3x12 with 7.5kg
Bicep Pull-Ups 3x20

I was so so nervous about getting a spotter for the bench press that I was going to use the Smith Machine but then I was concerned about using it correctly that I did the old school one. I don't know why I am so embarrassed to ask someone to spot me. I'm not a shy person! Might be the idea that i am this skinny guy asking this muscly guy to spot me and judge me on the fact I am only lifting 30kg. It's RIDICULOUS!

But I did it on my own and got through the first set; felt pretty good about that. The second set I started to struggle and I went down on the 7th but could not bring it back up. Fortunately there was a lower hook for the bar to slip into so I dropped it in there. Took a 30 second break and attempted to do the third set but couldn't even lift it. It's like, if I have even one seconds doubt then that ruins me for the rest of the set. It's happened a few times . I moved on to the other stuff, in retrospect, I should have taken the 10kg off and completed it with the 20 but I just wanted to get away from the bench press. I don't think we are going to be friends.

The rest of it went quite well. I think remembering the actions was the hardest thing. Had to ask another PT how to do the cable bicep curls. Gotta work on my push-ups as my elbows keep coming out. My goals is to attempt 30 push ups every night the proper way. That should get me doing it right eventually.

This new program has me excited - except for the bench press - is there another way to work the same muscles through a different exercise?

30 Days of Fitness: Day 25 - Back and Triceps Day

Second part of my three split workout working on my back and triceps. The routine Nathan organised for me is as follows:

BACK AND TRICEPS

• TRX Row Series 3x10
• TRX Triceps Press 3x10
• Assisted Chin Ups 3x10 with 66kg
• Standing Row 3x12 with 45kg
• Triceps Press 3x15 with 15kg
• SA Dumb-bell Pulls  3x(12x2) with 12kg
• Triceps Press Up 3x15 with 9kg

I felt pretty good with all this. It was difficult but I was generally able to do the exercises with the initial weight Nathan placed. The most difficult thing was the triceps press. I realised after today that my triceps leave a lot to be desired! Hence the low weight on that. I like using the TRX though. Would be awesome to have one at home. But seeing as the gym is only a five minute walk, it pretty much is!

I felt good with the assisted chin ups - especially having never really done them. Great little machine where the more weight you add the easier it becomes to lift yourself up. I think we might have started at 80kg and I was finding it easy till about the 66kg mark.

The dumb-bells Pulls and Triceps Press I also quite 'enjoyed' in the sense that I felt I could achieve the weight and goals of these. By the end of the circuit I felt much better about this than I did about Chest and Biceps Day

I know these things don't come easily - was gonna say don't happen overnight but then it would lead to finding those Pantene Shampoo TV commercials on line.....*2 minutes later*... - As I was saying, it won't come easily but it doesn't stop me from being demanding of myself and probably trying to be perfect at it straight away. It's like, the sooner I can start doing the big boy weights the sooner my muscles will appear! And I know that logically, you just don't think that way and it won't happen overnight (sorry!) but the way my mind operates is strangely odd indeed!

If I wanted to be optimistic about it though, I'd say it's that I feel motivated and energised to achieve the goals, but I think it's the former. Or maybe, just maybe, it's a little bit of column A and a little bit of clump B?

30 Days of Fitness: Day 24 - Crash & Burn

So, confession time. I have failed the 30 day fitness challenge. Ouch. And it wasn’t from lack of trying just life getting in the way. I am very careful to not make my blog a personal diary but the last 24 hours and the next 24 hours are crazy for me. Last night, straight after work I went to North Melbourne to review a show. I did not get home until almost 11:00pm and I still had to write the review, update the blog and do an online work induction program. I did not get to sleep till almost 1:00am. I had planned to wake up at 6:00am for a yoga session but I slept through the alarm until it was too late and ha to get ready for work. Tonight after work I have a one hour break before I head to the first shift of my second job and won’t be home till possibly midnight. So working 50 hour weeks will be difficult on its own let alone fitting in some fitness into every day. Fortunately the challenge is almost over and even though I am committing to the whole fitness routine I have created, at least I won’t have the pressure of doing it every day.

A lot of people had told me that my body needs a rest and I was like ‘no no no, it’s a 30 day challenge for a reason’ – maybe 30 days is too much for a body to take without a break? Anyway, even though I am a little disappointed in myself, it’s not the end of the world and I will be back on the wagon tomorrow for my 5:45am PT session.

30 Days of Fitness: Day 23 - A New Challenge

Had a PT session this morning. At 6:00am. Fortunately I had no problem getting up this time. Might have been because I knew someone was waiting for me. Maybe this is what the real purpose of a gym buddy is...

Anyway, had a chat with Nathan about wanting to gain 10kg and so we're doing a 3 day split cycle. Day 1; chest and biceps. Day 2; legs and shoulders and Day 3; back and triceps(?). So today we did chest and biceps and although I don't recall the names of all the things I did, I will attempt to describe them and post a copy of my routine when I do this next.

Started off with the bench press. Already felt the intimidation rise as I was suddenly in the weights 'corner' with all these muscly guys. First we did it with just the bar, which was a bit embarrassing but it weighed 20 kg. Did fine, so we upped it to 30kg. There I struggled. And there is where Nathan said is my starting point. Strangely, the thing I dread the most is having to ask someone to spot me when I am doing it. Do you just approach anyone? For some reason, I feel like this will be the hardest thing of the whole circuit. I think it's partly coz I am lifting such a piss-weak weight; will I be scoffed at or mocked? It's almost like being the new kid at school and trying to hang with the cool kids. Weird how this is what I think about though.

Moving on, we then did some biceps lifts and push ups - did a good set of ten. Had a pretty straight back - thank you yoga and plank position but my elbows come out too much when going down. Then we did some dumb bell bench presses went from 6 to 7.5 to 10kg. We're staying at 7.5-8 for the time being. Also had a go at some chin ups, did 2! Fuck yeah!!!

Overall, I am happy with the results I made today. I know I've got a lot to do but I am determined to make this become something good and it won't happen unless I struggle through it; but in a good way. I'm excited about this. Through the 23 days, I now have a goal and a reason to keep going to the gym after the challenge is over. I feel quite rejuvenated. And my high spirits continued when I got home and had a scrambled egg and fried mushroom toast concoction!

30 Days of Fitness: Day 22 - But it's a Public Holiday!

Again, woke up with no motivation whatsoever. Had fully intended to go to my 9:30am pump class - which I actually enjoy - but I just couldn't move. I think it's the heat and also partly the fact that it was a public holiday threw me out a bit.

I did however manage to squeeze out a yoga session. Not the outdoor one I usually go to, which would have been fine had I been working but from home to Carlton and back in this heat....so instead I did my own hour class by my fan. And I think I needed it. After all that gym I was pretty tense and could really feel the stretch affecting my muscles and body. God it really feels weird saying muscle and associating it to my body.

One more day of this stinking heat and then I'm into the final stretch.

30 Days of Fitness: Day 21 - The Cracks Begin...

AAAAAAggggggghhhhhhhhhhh...another failed day, what's happening to me? I feel like it's a cross between tiredness, the heat and the fact that it may be doing things I don't like. In this instance, zumba. Not been a massive fan of zumba since I tried it two weeks ago, think it's a bit silly to be honest. So that might be another reason why I decided to skip it.

Still went to the gym though and did a full workout. Gym was virtually empty, which was weird. Everyone must be away because of the long weekend. It was nice, just because it gave me an opportunity to get more comfortable with the TRX training without an audience, not that people would be watching me but I do feel a little self conscious on it just because I've not used it before. But after today, I'm ready, haha...

Guess this is a short post today...

30 Days of Fitness: Day 20 - Sick of being Skinny

Confession time...I didn't go to my fencing class or my spin class today. BUT I have "valid" reasons for both of these. I think. I mean, who has a fencing class at 10am on a Saturday!?!?! Ok, so I went the two weeks before that but lat night I got to sleep at 4am; it's a Friday night! So to get up at 8am was never going to happen. It is a little annoying as I genuinely enjoy the classes but it would have killed me for the rest of the day.

And Spin...well I have decided to stop going to spin class mainly from due to my fitness goals. I have decided that I want to gain 10kg and by doing an hour of cardio I think it will make it a little more difficult for me to achieve this. I will still do a little cardio in my circuit but I won't do spin anymore. Which isn't a bad thing because I hated it and wanted to die by the end of it. I don't like the way I look, everyone keeps saying how lucky I am to be so skinny and eat what i want (funnily enough this is mainly from women) but I hate being skinny. I have hated being skinny for such a long time, possibly since puberty all those years ago and suddenly being aware of what a fit guy is "supposed" to look like. I know by putting on these extra kilos, I will feel more confident and happier with how I look. I also know it will not be that easy to put on 10kg and it's not just about doing weights but I finally have the clarity and the want to get this.

I spoke with my PT briefly on the phone and we're going to look at giving me a certain muscle to work on in each session from now on and to discuss this goal in more detail. Quite exciting to be mixing things up and now that I have a goal outside the 30 Days, I think it will continue to inspire me to go.

I started with the TRX training today, kept it simple and did some chest presses, squats and row. Wasn't too intense but I could definitely feel the weakness in my arms, especially my right arm. Had a look at the chart and there are so many exercises to choose from that help build the body for strength and flexibility. Shame the equipment is $200 otherwise I may have considered investing in it. But perhaps later down the track.

The 'new' circuit I have is this but I imagine it will change come Tuesday's PT session:

Some of the TRX exercises 

Warm Up

TRX - chest, squats and rows 3x15)
4kg medicine ball wall slam and floor slam 2x I min each
Cross Trainer fast/slow 4x30/30 = 8mins
Rowing fast/slow 5x30/30 = 5mins

Training

Lats Pulldown 3x15 at 30kg
Chest Press 3x15 at 30kg
Squats 3x20 with 4kg med ball
Hammy Curls 3x15 at 40kg
Shoulder Press 3x15 at 20kg
Standing Row 3x15 at 30kg

medicine ball floor slam

Core Exercises

Ab Curls 2x20

Russian Twists 2x40 with 4kg ball

Alt. Arm/Leg Raises 2x10

So pretty much the same as it used to be but not as much treadmill or rowing, which I always felt was a bit excessive as a warm up. 

Did quite well with it all, finding the squats the hardest thing at the moment but the ab curls are becoming easier - still struggle with the second set but it is that little bit easier and I can feel that I am making progress.

Ten days to go and it's been hard - the last two days along with this heat; i find it really demotivates me. Got another intense few days and then hopefully it will be a nice cool change before the end of it. Perhaps focusing less on the ten day left and more on the ultimate goal of being 80kg would help more too...

Apologies for the weird font towards the end, not sure how to get it to be the normal size I always use!

30 Days of Fitness: Day 19 - Losing My Motivation

Yup, after 19 days I am struggling to keep the motivation going, and not for the next 11 days because I can do that as there is a light at the end of that tunnel. But after the 30 days. I can feel myself beginning that train of thought of 'i can't be assed', 'I am too tired' or - even worse, 'it's too hard'.  I almost had a nap tonight instead of going to the gym and that might be because I am tired and have been super busy these last few days but it has me worried.

I know that by continuing with this my body and mind will eventually thank me but there is never an end result with the gym. Ideally, what I want is to gain an extra ten kilograms as I don't like being 70kg at 6'3" but after that, if I stop going does all that come off again? By doing this 30 day challenge have in fact committed to a 30 year challenge?

It might also be the fact that I am doing so much fitness that it's losing its fun aspect and its novelty. I know once the challenge is over, I will do weight/cardio only 3/4 times a week with a pump class and on occasional spin class. Which in retrospect doesn't really cut much out at all, except for zumba. Definitely not doing zumba after the challenge is over. Don't even want to go on Sunday!

But anyway, I did go to the gym tonight - ran 1.5km in 9:24 seconds and rowed 1km in 4:14 seconds. Did well with the weights, struggled a bit today with the leg work, the squats and the hamstring curls but completed everything. I can feel my abs at work and getting stronger. That sentence was so weird to write. Me. Having abs. Wow. lol...still struggled to do 40 ab curls but it definitely did feel easier!

Had my protein shake as soon as I got home and now to have a bowl of pasta - is that bad?

30 Days of Fitness: Day 18 - Curveball!

This is me at 5am after four hours sleep getting
ready for the gym

Four hours sleep and back at the gym at 5:30am on an empty stomach. Yup, real smart move there.

Did my warm up until Nathan arrived and then threw me a curveball, like Jeff Probst does in Survivor. He was changing my whole circuit! Bastard! I'd mentally prepared myself for weight and squats and instead we were working on cardio today! I was needing that familiarity especially today with being in the fragile place I was in.

Had me using the TRX to do some supported push ups, squats and rows. Lots of upper strength - something I struggle with but I was pleased with myself here.

Did some work with the medicine bald which killed my arms. A minute has never gone so long; I swear that gym time goes slower than real time.

Then used the rower and cross fit for 30 seconds hard and 30 seconds soft cycles for four minutes. I was all "but I rowed this morning" and Nathan's all "that's alright you'll do it again". Think lack of sleep made me a whiny bitch.

Finally did some work on the ropes. Using arms again, wanted to fucking die. Was so glad when he looked at the time and we'd run over the session by 5 minutes.

So I'm supposed to alternate now between weights and cardio, which is fine and I understand why, but it's just annoying because I really wanted to excel at the weights. I feel like it's going to take me twice as hard to achieve what I want now because I won't be doing weights as much which is stupid I know!

I've been feeling a bit rough at work today and hoping I'm not getting sick or putting too much on my body. Especially with 12 days to go. Getting a good eight hours sleep tonight so hopefully that will recharge my batteries.

30 Days of Fitness: Day 17 - Just a Man and His Will to Survive

5:00am wake up call today, not so hard when you get to sleep at 10:00am.

It might have been a mistake going last night and this morning because everything was a little but harder this time round. It's weird, there are days I can do the circuit without a problem and then others, I struggle. Again it was with the shoulder presses - still on 20kg. Got my PT tomorrow and doubt I'll be "upgrading". I have however taken myself from 25kg to 30kg on the lat pulldown. Yes it is harder but I am able to do it so I think I'm doing the right thing!

On the treadmill I've managed to run 1.5km in ten minutes and my rowing is pretty consistent now at about 1km in the 4:15 mark. I'm hoping to eventually get this down to under 4 minutes and to get to 2km in 10 minutes but that's not a massive concern of mine.

The protein shake after the workouts has been having the desired effect on me, eating more as well so hopefully I will be able to gain some muscle. I weigh about 70kg and am 6'3". This has always been an issue of mine, as I've always wanted to put on weight and be around the 80kg mark. Everyone always says how lucky I am to be skinny and eat anything I want and blah blah blah but the reality is I HATE being skinny. Perhaps this is the whole media and society promoting the hot buff masculine man on me but I'm sick of being the skinny guy. Hopefully I'll end up with a "Sandra Dee" moment song towards the end of the run!

30 Days of Fitness: Day 16 - Fighting Past

Back at the gym today for my workout. Created myself a sexy new playlist as well and boy did it help. Turns out Paloma Faith and the like are NOT good music for working out. So lots of Kylie - yes, I went there - some David Guetta (my lady jam) and loads of other 'active' songs. So when it came to the cardio stuff, I was more focused on singing along to Rihanna than I was on reaching certain goals. Not that I ignored them but wasn't staring at the time so intently and it kind of worked for me. Didn't achieve my best but I was pleased with the results.

Managed to complete my weight circuit too. Inadvertently did 30kg for the lats pulldown and even though it was a struggle I could actually feel myself fighting past the pain and actually finishing the set. It was a very 'wow' moment because up until now whenever my PT has said 'fight through' or i've said it to myself nothing has happened, like I was having a conversation with my stubborn, annoying 15 year old self. Tonight however, it responded and even though it hurt at the time I did it.

I've been really happy with the progress I have been making - in retrospect I feel like I should have taken then advice people said and taken a before and after photo because I would like to see the difference but I guess it's enough for me that other people are seeing it. Not because I want to be noticed but because it means I am getting healthier and fitter. Co-worker today commented on how I did look good and there was a sparkle in my eyes - that was nice.

This is not going to happen

I'm glad to say I have also not taken any selfies at the gym - ugh. I hate it when people do that. Part of the reason is because I leave my phone at work and it's nice, because I don't get distracted by twitter or texts and calls and can really keep my focus on what I am doing. I like that, it's a nice escape from the real world sometimes, which may also be another reason for me to continue with this once my 30 days are up.