What happened when Rachel Tunaley lost her eldest daughter crown | Melbourne International Comedy Festival | The Motley Spielhaus

Eldest Daughter Syndrome describes the pressure that often falls on the oldest daughter, who can end up taking on a lot of emotional and practical responsibility within the family. Recovering Eldest Daughter is Rachel Tunaley's new cabaret, sparked by the moment a surprise gender transition from her older sibling suddenly shifted her from eldest to… not so eldest.

Eldest Daughter Syndrome was something Tunaley had been acutely aware of for some time, and as with all great shows, “write about what you know” became the starting point, right up until her sibling’s transition changed the family dynamic. "I was seeing a lot of conversation online, especially on TikTok, about Eldest Daughter Syndrome and I resonated with the 'symptoms' for lack of a better word, and decided to unpack it more. While it’s not a formal syndrome, there are plenty of similarities in experiences for eldest daughters such as the burden to be perfect or successful whether that’s in career or romantically, struggling to articulate your own boundaries and needs with others and feeling like the caretaker of the family," she tells me.

"I guess the added complication for me is I’m not actually the eldest daughter anymore since my older sister came out as transgender several years ago, but I still feel the same emotionally! I thought it would be interesting to examine how I had to look further inward and figure out my identity beyond labels, but in a light and comedic way as conversations like this can easily be heavy and not as accessible."

While her sister’s transition helped shape the work, Tunaley said she did not want to make her show about her sister or her transition. Instead, she focused on sharing her own response. "The catalyst may have been my sister's transition, but it’s not my story to tell and I, as a cis woman shouldn’t be trying to tell trans stories on behalf of the community. With Recovering Eldest Daughter, I’m attempting to represent the family members of the trans community and the complicated feelings that follow," she explains.

"Families will have some sense of grief during this time but I felt really proud that my sister knew who she wanted to be and it made me reflect on myself and how I want to present myself to the world. I’m hoping that by performing a comedy on coming out as trans, I can destigmatise it and I can give people an open space to laugh or cry, and understand that it’s totally normal to have that grief while simultaneously holding so much love for a person. Me and my family are the happiest and most functional we’ve ever been now, except when the board games come out!"

She also spoke about how she shapes her show, choosing which moments from her life to express through song, comedy, or theatrical storytelling."I feel the itch to make a song if there’s a concept or story I want to explore in a more absurd and detailed way as opposed to just for a quick laugh. I tend to go for songs if there’s a need for inner dialogue as a way to get the audience in my mind," Tunaley says. "If there are stories with multiple characters involved I will lean into scenes with voice overs so I don’t get stuck explaining everything. 'Show don’t tell' is sort of my mantra for this season as it gets the point across quicker and the audience can choose how to feel without me dictating only my perspective."

"While this is about my family, I focus on how it’s shaped me personally and how it plays into our interactions in both positive and negative ways rather than going into my family’s personal life. Recovering Eldest Daughter is a journey of self discovery in your late twenties. I take you through my mental health struggles, relationship dynamics and the epic highs and lows of being the 'parentified child'!"

MICF QUICKFIRE FIVE
 
1. The most memorable audience reaction I've ever received is when two girls came to Motion Sickness in Adelaide and they learnt the words to the chorus of my song "Boom! Crash!" and sang along with me the whole time! Brilliant!


2. A totally absurd award I’d win if it existed is
 sweatiest fringe award, if you’ve seen my shows you’ll know I’m like the Duracell bunny on stage and my face is absolutely soaked by the end!


3. The worst thing I have ever eaten is ... I used to put live snails in my mouth to scare my parents when I was a kid, I never swallowed though so does that count?


4. One backstage ritual that makes me feel ready to get on stage is jumping up and down and shaking all my limbs! My shows require A LOT of energy so a good pump up is necessary!
5. If I could swap places with another comedian for a day, it would be Lou Wall so I can see what the world looks like from up high! My tippy toes are tired!

SHOW DETAILS

Venue: The Motley Spielhaus, Berrbang Lane & Kulinbulok Lane, Melbourne
Season: 6 - 19 April | 8:30pm

Duration: 55 minutes
Tickets: $34 Full | $29 Conc
 | $27 Tightarse Tuesday
Bookings: Melbourne International Comedy Festival