Sorry I Hurt Your Son (Said My Ex To My Mum) review | Melbourne International Comedy Festival | Trades Hall

If you’re expecting gay comedian James Barr to deliver a steady stream of dick jokes in Sorry I Hurt Your Son (Said My Ex To My Mum), a show built around the domestic abuse and trauma he experienced at the hands of his partner, well… you’d be right. But what’s striking is how effortlessly that humour is folded into the piece. The jokes don’t undercut the story, they sit alongside it, disarming the audience just enough to let the harder beats land.

Barr begins lightly, walking us through his search for Prince Charming, recounting a series of dates before arriving at the night he met Chris at a Spice Girls concert. It’s framed as a turning point, the moment he thought that two souls would become one.

From there, the tone shifts, gradually and deliberately. What starts as small digs and microaggressions builds into something more insidious, the tension tightening as the relationship darkens. Barr charts this escalation with clarity, leading to a violent incident that could have killed him. The decision to leave doesn’t come in that instant, but later, during a Botox appointment, in detail that is both absurd and entirely grounded in his world.

What the show does particularly well is unpack the question that often sits uncomfortably at the centre of stories like this, why do you stay, and how do you leave? Barr doesn’t offer easy answers but instead guides us through the emotional and psychological burden behind that choice. When he finally leaves in September 2022, where the significance of the date is made clear, it's a moment to be commended, to show his strength, but it takes a while for Barr to feel that.

There’s a detour involving a gay piss party in a Berlin club - because where else - that's played as a kind of cleansing and rebirth for Barr. It’s vivid and oddly cathartic, though it also highlights a gap, the aftermath of the relationship, and the impact on Barr is only briefly explored, and it's an area that could carry even more weight.

This isn’t a laugh-a-minute hour of comedy, nor is it trying to be. The subject matter resists that. Barr finds humour where he can, inviting the audience to react with laughter without ever trivialising the experience. It’s a careful balance, and for the most part, he maintains it.

When Barr reveals that 1 in 3 LGBTQ+ relationships are affected by domestic violence, it lands as a sobering note. It’s a confronting statistic, and a reminder of why stories such as Sorry I Hurt Your Son (Said My Ex To My Mum) need to be told.

SHOW DETAILS

Venue: Trades Hall, Cnr Lygon & Victoria Sts, Carlton
Season: until 5 April | Mon - Tues & Thurs - Sat 6:20pm, Sun 5:20pm
Duration: 60 minutes
Tickets: $30 - $34 Full | $28 - $32 Conc | $25 Tightarse Tuesday
Bookings: Melbourne International Comedy Festival